Also, our August meeting will be on August 11th.   We are going to go over the Primacy Effect and why it’s so important.  Sign up here.

Wonder why you are getting the same results week after week?

I was thinking to myself today regarding what really needs to happen for someone to get good at dating.  What do you think it is?

When you go out and get the same results is it your fault or theirs?

Take, for example, my friend ‘Mary,’ she goes out all of the time and complains that no one approaches her.  She can’t understand why.   Given Mary is a rather attractive woman and has a lot going for her.  Guys should be falling over her, but they are not.

I’ve gone out with her, and know exactly why she doesn’t get approached.  She’ll go sit down in the farthest corner in a booth where no one can see her.   When she walks around, her head is down, arms are crossed and gives off the vibe that she can’t be dealt with.

What guy is going to approach her?  Her body language shows ‘I’m closed off.’  She hides in the corner of the bar.  She goes to the same locations and never changes.

Too many guys do this too.

These bad habits are limiting their success.

If something isn’t working, change it!

STOP doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result!

First, address what are your habits:  notice where you go, where you stand/sit in a location, what does your body language show, are you smiling, do you give opportunities to approach/be approached?

Now, that you have a list of what you do and how you go about meeting people, Start Changing it!

If you go to the same bar, club, grocery store, book store, etc., change it to another location.  Go to a museum.  Join a soccer team.  Just stop doing the same thing!

Instead of standing in the corner of the room, stand in the middle.  There’s more traffic and people can get to you with ease.

If you want to get good at dating, you’re going to have to focus on dating.  Take inventory of what you do and how you do it.  Start making changes.

Give complements to complete strangers!   Just go out and do it!

One of the quickest and most effective way to do this is have a dating coach that can help you through your metamorphosis.   They should easily be able to see your patterns and show you what you’re doing wrong.  A well trained coach can remove months of frustration and boost you to the next level of dating.

Nothing happens without action.  This is worth saying twice.  Nothing happens without action.

Go out and make it happen.   Start changing and start your journey.

~James

We’re going to review what we found out at the 2010 Dating Convention and the Global Pickup Conferences.  We’ll follow up with a informal round table to ask us any of your pickup or dating related questions.

Details:

The Black Squirrel (Top Floor)
2427 18th Street Northwest
Washington, DC 20009-2030

I’m not as interested in what you wear or say as much as I am in what you DO. I’ve seen plenty of guys go out and buy the latest designer threads, only to fail miserably at approaching women due to… not approaching women.

The only true failure is the failure of not doing anything.

Many men struggle with approaching women because they still hold on to the fear of getting called out or looking stupid at not “closing the deal” at the bar. Ironically, for some it seems less foolish (less of a risk) to wear crazy/loud stuff (can anyone say Affliction?) than it is to be a little crazy and a little louder than the crowd. That makes no sense.

Guess what? No one is paying that much close attention to you. No one notices when you bomb after approaching a group of women. Ok, maybe they did.  So?  Do they matter?  Nah.

If there was one single skill that could change your life entirely, the one thing you should master above all other skills, tactics, or methods… is to get good at not giving a s*$% what others may think of you.

Here’s the fine print: No one is paying any attention.

The VAST majority of the world are followers. Very few are leaders.

Example: If you ever arrive at night club early on in the evening, you’ll notice the vast majority will stand around doing what everyone else is doing. Standing around and talking, but not dancing. Shocking. Dancing too early is perceived too big of a risk for 98% of a night club’s patrons.

DANCING?! To big of a risk of what? Nothing.

And yet, most people do what the crowd does. And most will not start dancing until someone does it first. BE FIRST. BE THAT GUY.

I am fan of taking action above all else.  Wearing designer clothing, or having expensive status symbols, or earning big paychecks are all nice things to have but it pales in comparison if you are the kind of guy that takes action, when no one else dares. Be that guy.

D

Our monthly free seminar is this Wednesday May 12, 2010 at 7pm. Brother James will give a version of his speech for the 2010 Dating Conference. Tickets are now over $300 for the NYC event. Don’t miss your chance to see the opening speaker.

Details:

The Black Squirrel (Top Floor)
2427 18th Street Northwest
Washington, DC 20009-2030

As many of you know, an article by R. Deline was published in the American edition of Cosmopolitan back in their February issue. Cosmo decided to take the international option and had our article published in all of their foreign magazines!

Looks like it was finally put online in the India edition of Cosmopolitan and on reproduced on Yahoo.  Awesome.

Be sure to look through our site and see what we’re all about.

For all press or service related questions, contact us at advice@professionalpickup.com

Professional Pickup just found out this weekend that Brother James has been asked to be a speaker at the 2010 Pickup and Dating Convention in NYC!   He will speak along with other leaders in the PUA and dating industry including DJFuji, AFC Adam Lyons, Brad P., and many others.

Tickets are now on sale and to receive $27 off the price of a ticket use the discount code: wash1ngton2010.   Prices should rise on April 1st.  This convention is not to be missed.

You can’t touch it, you can’t see it, you can’t smell it, but you can definitely feel it when “it’s on”.  It’s not the notes themselves, but the actually the spaces between the notes of a song that can make or break a performance at the Kennedy Center.  That’s tension.  That’s what’s already naturally there between men and women.

A lot of guys I know, in their attempts to be a more dominant, more alpha-male, more cocky funny, or more whatever, fail to recognize that most of the time, less IS more.  You don’t have to talk as much as you think you do.  You don’t have to be domineering as much as you think you do, as long as you can become a master of tension.

Most of the time, all you really need is a look.  It could be a look you shoot across the room to her when she walks into the place, letting her know you noticed her.   It could be pause in the moment when you give her a look of surprise that she’s impressed you.  And it can be a very effective way to let her know of your disapproval when she’s overstepped a boundary.

Why does it work?

It’s a masculine way of guiding her through your world.  It says a lot about who you are without using words.  It says that you are in control of yourself and your surroundings and she is safe to be with you.

Waving at her when she comes into the room and yelling her name?  Yeah, Mr. Smooth.  Go for it.
How about telling her she’s impressed you with something she already knows she’s good at?  Meh.  Broken record.
Getting upset and riled up at her because she’s done something you didn’t like.   Fail.

So stop talking so much guys, and bring in a little more intrigue into your lives with your women.  They’ll love it.

Location:

The Black Squirrel (Top Floor)
2427 18th Street Northwest
Washington, DC 20009-2030